the night aint ova jus yit

scrubbing the walls
so much red
got to get it done
well befoe bed

my hands are sore
my body cold
i beg my mind
to say its ok

jesus sign next to my scrubbing
i want ti done before
i start
to start sobbing

jesus loves
this is what it says
yet i know
my pain leaves that jesus in bed

he dont know me
how could he
cause i the
kid who says no to him

the red all goen now
yet i covered in shit
don matta what i do
this night aint ended jus yit

the donut

The donut

I was seven/eight years old

it was such a treat

we were visiting a market

it was filled whole streets

This was never allowed just me and dad

not unless id done something really really bad

but this time was fun

we looked at things

and tasted the food

little did i know

he was getting me in the mood

i tugged his sleeve and said

please please dad

donuts

he looked at me and said soon

first i have to take you

to a special room

remember the donuts smell

remember it well

you will rewarded

with as many as they can sell

he took me to a man

he didnt say a name

but i guess so used to it

they all sounded the same

my dad parted me with a kiss on the cheek

he reminded me what i was supposed to do

and i watched him depart

i felt like a monkey in a zoo

hours later my job was done

i walked slightly bow legged

i felt like scum

we stood at the donut van

he ruffled my hair and he said

hey my good man my daughter over there

well she sure is tired

and need a cheery up

how about you cook her twelve

and add one in for good luck

I chomped on those donuts

i relished them all

i had done

what was asked

and i swallowed and all

Hand me rounds (with Josies help)

the box

its dark
its cold
its a long long nite

i tri to hide
but i cant
them peple
they take me ote

tey pont to the ski
an sai
im his tonite

swirlin mist
it creeps in
covers me
in mi sin

a box
a lid
a smel
a fear

creakin open
arond the mist
i smel it
before it opens

they lay me down
my hands
cris crosed
an they put rite there
in that box

the smel
the gore
the breakin sound
and al the time the mistal round

the lid it goes on
ifeel so sik
plese anione no
i don wan this

christine

vomit trigerring

bend down
fingers down throat
push hard
now heave ho

i SURGE
I GURGE
I FEEL IT COME

it purges deep within
and makes me clean
its
my vile by bile

its my past
all in spew
it makes me forget
what went on

the times they
raped me bent
over this horrible sink
my vomit made them happy

as i spewed
they came inside me
one after one

when it was done
they scooped it up
and slurped my spew stuff

FAU

she sent us to pain

We said we liked magic
She told us we were evil
She told the bigs we had to go

they said yes ok
in a big bang and a shift of light
they listened to bitch face
and said she was right

at first on the third level they circled
they swooned
they touched and made fun of
but it ended so soon

within day we were strapped
to the ceiling with no
lights

we were tortured
and told
we had no
rights

we bled
we screamed
we died
we felt demeaned

and we hated the place
but we were strapped
to wall
a dungeon
and that was that

............ to be continued

little mistress

mum why are you so sad

please mum i know you feel bad

dont fall into a heap

i know the tears you want to so weep

mum if you go to bed

you know dad will want us to take the lead

he will want us to play mum

an do as you do when the sun aint the sun

please mum dont lay down

mum wake up

we will not make sound

mum dont make day night and night day

mum please mum it will be ok

she sucks her thumb

and quietly tucks herself in

i know now

this is what my sister and i were entwined in

as my sister cooked

we played mum

we did as she did

i made it sound right

i was mum now

didnt anyone know

i knew what to do

to make it all sound so

but deep inside

i screamed out all night

i screamed and screamed

i knew it wasnt right

i never said i do

i will marry you

but it didnt make a difference

he always said i was his little mistress

Naomi

dont find me

curled into a ball

no end in sight

i fight the tears

with all my might

under the bench

my body goes

i squeeze myself in

as far as it goes

i hear them taunt

come out come out

wherever you are

let start looking she cant be far

i feel the pain as i squeeze more tight

i dont care i dont care

i wont give up

without a fight

i hide my eyes from seeing them come

with one yank my hair

come out in clumps

they grab me from my hiding place

and let me know i wasnt safe

Deshanti