Sharing private moments through poetry

you are one of ours

2010-09-18T00:38:00.001-07:00

little fists holding a cage
eyes fixed

holding back rage

people coming and going

but no one stops

you are their newest little prop

ritual starts and still you are caged

your little eyes watch amazed

people in robes chanting so loud

drums to a beat

they beat so loud

you find yourself banging

your feet to the sound

Suddenly masks appear right in your face

they lift you high

right into space

they spin you this way and that

vomit appears in your throat

you know to not let it go

chanting

dancing

movement

bile

chalices topped up high

this it seems is your turn to shine

lifted in a robe

fully gold

people bowing

moaning

chanting your name

yet your name isnt the same

its a name youhavent heard before

lifted up by strong arms

you stare in his face

its kind and nice

full of grace

he whispers its ok

i wont hurt you

a crown upon his head

he says he rules the earth

and he will make me his

he lowers me gently down

silence all around

he strokes my cheek and says welcome

he turns and suddenly he crouches

i scream a long scream

into the daisies i go

because this man is the devil this i know

Cleo for one of ours

lonely

2010-09-04T05:15:00.001-07:00

im locked up

its cold

its quiet

its painful

curled in a corner

my hands are tied

my naked body

is exposed

i lie waiting for the light

i try to feel

i try

with all my might

but im numb

i feel nothing

my hands are numb

my feet no feeling

my ears are so cold

they feel like theyre screaming

in this place i live

no one knows im there

i live there day by day

unloved unwanted uncared

im a no one

in a world that cant hear

im in pain

in fear

no more tears left

pain too intense.

a cage childs memory

2010-08-29T01:48:00.000-07:00

fists clenched,

scrunched body

face peering

eyes wandering

blue, ice,cold

too cold

four years old

crawling from one space to the other

eyes appearing

angry

mean

mothers voice

hissing

no more moving

no more scraping

i will teach you a lesson bitch

i will teach you now

her eyes turn yellow

her face all veined

ice cold ice cold

i scream and scream

i feel a warmth from deep inside

then i run and hide

i hide in the daisies

i hide in the fields

i hide where no one can

find me

when i come back my hands

they scrunch up

my feet burn

like fire

the mother

she smiles

she laughs

she screams

then what happens next

i know is obscene

cause i can

hear the next ones screams

a cage child yet un named written by Cleo

the night aint ova jus yit

2010-06-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

scrubbing the walls
so much red
got to get it done
well befoe bed

my hands are sore
my body cold
i beg my mind
to say its ok

jesus sign next to my scrubbing
i want ti done before
i start
to start sobbing

jesus loves
this is what it says
yet i know
my pain leaves that jesus in bed

he dont know me
how could he
cause i the
kid who says no to him

the red all goen now
yet i covered in shit
don matta what i do
this night aint ended jus yit

the donut

2010-04-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

The donut

I was seven/eight years old

it was such a treat

we were visiting a market

it was filled whole streets

This was never allowed just me and dad

not unless id done something really really bad

but this time was fun

we looked at things

and tasted the food

little did i know

he was getting me in the mood

i tugged his sleeve and said

please please dad

donuts

he looked at me and said soon

first i have to take you

to a special room

remember the donuts smell

remember it well

you will rewarded

with as many as they can sell

he took me to a man

he didnt say a name

but i guess so used to it

they all sounded the same

my dad parted me with a kiss on the cheek

he reminded me what i was supposed to do

and i watched him depart

i felt like a monkey in a zoo

hours later my job was done

i walked slightly bow legged

i felt like scum

we stood at the donut van

he ruffled my hair and he said

hey my good man my daughter over there

well she sure is tired

and need a cheery up

how about you cook her twelve

and add one in for good luck

I chomped on those donuts

i relished them all

i had done

what was asked

and i swallowed and all

Hand me rounds (with Josies help)

the box

2010-03-25T03:49:00.000-07:00

its dark
its cold
its a long long nite

i tri to hide
but i cant
them peple
they take me ote

tey pont to the ski
an sai
im his tonite

swirlin mist
it creeps in
covers me
in mi sin

a box
a lid
a smel
a fear

creakin open
arond the mist
i smel it
before it opens

they lay me down
my hands
cris crosed
an they put rite there
in that box

the smel
the gore
the breakin sound
and al the time the mistal round

the lid it goes on
ifeel so sik
plese anione no
i don wan this

christine

vomit trigerring

2010-03-10T01:09:00.000-08:00

bend down
fingers down throat
push hard
now heave ho

i SURGE
I GURGE
I FEEL IT COME

it purges deep within
and makes me clean
its
my vile by bile

its my past
all in spew
it makes me forget
what went on

the times they
raped me bent
over this horrible sink
my vomit made them happy

as i spewed
they came inside me
one after one

when it was done
they scooped it up
and slurped my spew stuff

FAU

she sent us to pain

2010-03-04T02:48:00.000-08:00

We said we liked magic
She told us we were evil
She told the bigs we had to go

they said yes ok
in a big bang and a shift of light
they listened to bitch face
and said she was right

at first on the third level they circled
they swooned
they touched and made fun of
but it ended so soon

within day we were strapped
to the ceiling with no
lights

we were tortured
and told
we had no
rights

we bled
we screamed
we died
we felt demeaned

and we hated the place
but we were strapped
to wall
a dungeon
and that was that

............ to be continued

little mistress

2010-01-26T03:49:00.000-08:00

mum why are you so sad

please mum i know you feel bad

dont fall into a heap

i know the tears you want to so weep

mum if you go to bed

you know dad will want us to take the lead

he will want us to play mum

an do as you do when the sun aint the sun

please mum dont lay down

mum wake up

we will not make sound

mum dont make day night and night day

mum please mum it will be ok

she sucks her thumb

and quietly tucks herself in

i know now

this is what my sister and i were entwined in

as my sister cooked

we played mum

we did as she did

i made it sound right

i was mum now

didnt anyone know

i knew what to do

to make it all sound so

but deep inside

i screamed out all night

i screamed and screamed

i knew it wasnt right

i never said i do

i will marry you

but it didnt make a difference

he always said i was his little mistress

Naomi

dont find me

2010-01-16T14:27:00.000-08:00

curled into a ball

no end in sight

i fight the tears

with all my might

under the bench

my body goes

i squeeze myself in

as far as it goes

i hear them taunt

come out come out

wherever you are

let start looking she cant be far

i feel the pain as i squeeze more tight

i dont care i dont care

i wont give up

without a fight

i hide my eyes from seeing them come

with one yank my hair

come out in clumps

they grab me from my hiding place

and let me know i wasnt safe

Deshanti

money money * triggering*

2009-12-27T21:19:00.001-08:00

money money

I didnt hear you come in daddy

i was busy listening to abba

i thought you had gone out

i wanted to pretend all was normal

Dont grab my hair daddy

it hurts so badly so

dont wrench it from its roots

ill do as you say

He looks into my eyes

as money money plays

and tilts his head backs

and lays in that way

he softly starts to sway

money money

is a rich mans way

money money so your little girl can weave her way

he turns it up aroused by its sound

i start to crumple

this wasnt what they meant

they didnt mean it for little girls like me

he licks my face like a dog

all the time humming

he groans that i turn him on

that it was me playing the money money song

suddenly im gasping for air

as he shoves his thing

into my mouth

and says suck baby suck for all your worth

i gag i almost throw up

this is the first time

hes made me suck

in a few moments he thrusts and screams

money money

he says that

is what i mean

he shuts my mouth

and swallow

i gag i twist

but i do as he says

he smiles and licks his lips

and says thats exactly what i mean

money money

that will make them be seen

naomi

dont do it daddy

2009-12-20T16:20:00.001-08:00

Dont do it daddy

dont come near

dont do it daddy

its you i fear

the pain reaches in

stretches far and wide

it takes my breath away

and hurts deep inside

im not your daddy he breathes

i am your torture

your moment

your life surreal

he is a monster

he likes to cause pain

he seems to get power

in his game

dont do it daddy

dont rip me from inside

please daddy

let me hide

deep inside i reach

far away to the dark places

nowhere can touch me there

no one will know or care

i hide inside the body

i hide for years

i never knew of others

or their boundless tears

i thought i was only one

but there are so many more

all of whom were shattered

by terrible peoples abuse

dear daddy dont do this to me

please daddy let me be free

Naomi

Sharing private moments through poetry

you are one of ours

lonely

a cage childs memory

the night aint ova jus yit

the donut

the box

vomit trigerring

she sent us to pain

little mistress

dont find me

money money ***** triggering*****

dont do it daddy

money money * triggering*